Do you smell that? It’s the scent of glossy store advertisements being printed all throughout the country, ready to roll out in a week to homes across America.
I usually just use these as table protection against the onslaught of holiday kid crafts. But I know that many people use these as their own personal Black Friday guides.
One year while living in Denver, my cousin came over with her family for Thanksgiving. Along with a green bean casserole and pumpkin pie, she came armed with a stack of newspaper circulars and a sharpie. As the turkey roasted in the oven and the cooking took a break, she mapped out her shopping extravaganza for the next morning at the crack of dawn, scouring for the best deals.
And all I could think while watching her delight in circling items and finding the perfect gift for her loved ones was “There’s not a deal in the world that would drag me to the stores on Black Friday.”
It’s not that I don’t like a great deal. But I have several reasons for not going anywhere near a store after Thanksgiving.
For instance:
1. I’ll be too hung over from my food binge.
2. I’m too lazy to get up early and shop at the crack of dawn.
3. I hate crowds.
4. I procrastinate on getting gift ideas together and won’t be even remotely ready to shop that early. Dec 22nd is how I roll.
5. There’s a Star Wars marathon on Spike that I need to be present and accounted for.
6. Did I mention that I hate crowds? Like, that borderline-claustrophobic, makes-me-sweat-and-panic kind of hate.
7. Getting dressed isn’t an option. By 7am on Friday morning, the pants I was able to fit in to a mere two nights earlier won’t be able to be pulled up past my knees.
8. I prefer to save my physical battles for the playground.
9. There’s a nap or two I’ll be taking that day.
10. Fighting the rabid, sleep-deprived bargain shoppers for the last Sophia the First Royal Talking Vanity that won’t fit in our playroom and will get destroyed in less than 2 months? Ain’t NOBODY got time for that.
If you’re brave and organized enough to venture out next Friday to fight it out at your local department store, then I wish you all the best. I’ll be your silent cheerleader, applauding your efforts while sitting on the couch in my pajamas.
In between my morning and afternoon nap while watching Star Wars in my sweatpants.
Amen. I like to relax when I shop. As much as possible, buying stuff should feel more like the relaxed indulgence of the Roman section of Eat, Pray, Love than the opening scene from Gladiator.
That last image? Yes. That’s exactly what I envision. I’m sure not every Black Friday shopping experience is they shitastrophe that occurs at the random Walmart, but I don’t even want to chance it.
Love your reasons!! I have done the Black Friday thing a few times with my sisters and mom, never going nuts but waiting on line at Target. I will say that it was sort of kind of fun. We always met nice people on line and people would remember what you wanted and let you know what aisles had what, it wasn’t a complete blood sport. But I will put it in the, done that, category of life!! This year I am happily choosing the slug option! Thanks for a fun post!
Kathy Radigan recently posted…Five Reasons I’m Thankful I’m not a Turkey
So, you’re a survivor then, right? I’m glad to hear that not every store is as crazy as you see on the news. I’m not a big shopper anyway, so there’s not a whole lot on the market that would turn me in to a door buster. However, Cyber Monday? I’m all over that.
Seriously, shopping for your loved ones should not be done in an atmosphere of frenzy. I like to get my shopping done at my own pace too, and especially not on a day called Black Friday!
Tarana recently posted…Thankful for being a mother