Adapted from a post originally published in August, 2012.
Every year I tell myself I’m not going to get sucked in to watching hours upon hours of Olympics coverage. And then I find myself gravitating towards NBC every night like a bad addiction I can’t quit.
It doesn’t even matter that I have no clue what to look for when watching a good bobsledder or what the difference is between a Super G or the Giant Slalom. My prowess at skiing proceeds me. But regardless, I just can’t stop myself from watching and following Team USA these Winter Olympics.
Luckily, I have faced this addiction before and am equipped to recognize the signs, but you may need help to determine if you, too, are a Winter Olympics junkie:
5) Like a bleery-eyed newborn parent making coffee without even thinking in the morning, you reach for your gadget de jour as soon as your feet hit the floor, searching for the day’s newest results, perusing the agenda for the day’s events, and hoping to find out the status of Bob Costas’ eyes.
4) Despite knowing full well that those little alarm clocks called preschoolers will wake you up at 6am, you stay up way past midnight watching the day’s competitions. It’s easy to get sucked in. That little tease right before commercial…”Next up, Ted Ligety sets an Olympic record for skiing backwards while reading a phone book” hooks you in, and before you know it, you’ve wasted away six hours of your night that should have been spent cleaning up dinner, “reconnecting” with your partner, or getting some sleep. Besides, those dramatic commentators on the men’s skeleton event are just too good to pass up.
3) People avoid you all day because they know you constantly check your phone for the latest medal count. Everyone knows you, YOU, are The Spoiler Alert. In an effort to be the most up-to-date expert on what’s happening with the Olympics, you have ruined others’ efforts to avoid finding out what happened before they get home to watch the highlights in primetime. You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut about Shaun White, could you? Jerk.
2) You’ve gone beyond the realm of enthusiast and have created an alternate reality for yourself where You Are An Olympic Athlete! You can’t stop yourself from sliding breakfast plates over to the kids with the craft of a skilled curler. Your neighbors are getting a kick out watching you speed skate to the mailbox. In sneakers. Then there’s the TWIZZLING! In the Shower!
1) The half-pipe you’ve constructed out of the frozen tundra in your backyard is an accident waiting to happen. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve gone over the edge. Get yourself an intervention. Take solace in the fact that this madness will come to an end this weekend and you’ll be forced to deal with your addiction cold turkey, or turn your attention elsewhere (like the kids? work? making a normal dinner? Rats.) Have no fear, The next Summer Olympics are but a mere 18-months away…
Be honest. Are you obsessed? What’s your favorite Winter Olympic event?
This is hilarious! So glad I didn’t get sucked in,but it was a different story when I wasn’t a mom. That said, I don’t miss the figure skating events.
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Thanks, Tarana! The figure skating was exciting this year, as was the ice dancing. My daughter loved watching those. And my son watched anyone that had a snowboard strapped to their feet.
Completely obsessed except people avoid me all day because they know if I hear a spoiler I’ll snap!! I have countdowns on my phone for the next Olympics, turn off all alerts up avoid spoilers and throw my child olympic themed parties!!
Yeah, I was pretty pissed when someone leaked the Shaun White news to me. Next time around, I’m going to have to avoid all social media and the internet until I can get caught up with the day. An olympic themed birthday party sounds like a ton of fun!
I was looking forward to the Olympics but clearly not as much as you. I found I only really got into the crazy jumping ski events. I could have watched the snowboard cross endlessly. For the others I could have used to have you around to keep me updated. I was pretty clueless.
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Yeah, we’re big fans of the Olympics around here. Those ski jumpers must be insane. There’s no way in hell I’d voluntarily hurl myself down that gigantic slope and get shot off the cliff for hundreds of feet. I think I read that the length of their jump is almost as long as a football field. Only certifiably crazy people have the balls for that, right? And yes, snowboard cross is pure excitement!