The beast…

My daughter got this balloon at her birthday. A doggie balloon. Unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

It sits about four inches from the ground, with little paper-accordion legs that keep it grounded to the floor.  With blue bows on the ears and a happy expression on it’s face, it’s better than any kind of plain Mylar  “4″ I could have given my birthday girl.  Even if Dora, Hello Kitty and Merida had hand-delivered it.


The kids went nuts over this thing! It’s like the dog we aren’t able to have, what with my husband’s allergies. No fur, and, BONUS! no surprise turds scattered throughout the house.

I have to admit, the dog is pretty cute. When not in use, it just sits there happily waiting for attention.  You can even walk it with its attached string. Though, my kids prefer to sprint with it through the house at full speed and let it take flight.

After we brought it home from the party, it had taken up residence in my daughter’s room while she slept, right at the foot of her bed, so it was easily available to her when she woke up.

However, last night, she decided to have it stand ground outside her bedroom door, keeping watch over her room like the faithful helium companion it is.

Sounds harmless, right? Except that it scared the living shit out of me.

On more than one occasion.

I came out of my son’s door after saying goodnight, not expecting to see this brown floating thing at my feet. I stifled a yelp for fear of waking my kids, which gave way to silent cursing of my stupidity of being scared at something so childish.

And yet, it happened AGAIN a mere hour later. I went upstairs to put something in the play room and had my breath taken away, complete with heart palpitations, by the hovering sucker.

Just sitting there. Mocking me with it’s painted smile and pastel ribbons.

Is this a thing for me now?  Being terrorized by helium balloons?  Like those people that have a phobia about clowns?

Sure, I’m stressed and on edge.  And I guess I’m just not expecting to see this…thing in my hallway which catches me off guard.  In the light of day, this doggie balloon looks harmless and friendly.  Yet, when the lights go down, it sits and waits.

For me to forget.

Y’all, seriously?  I didn’t want to wake my daughter up this morning, because I knew I’d have to confront this beast.

This 8-inch vicious beast.



  1. I am dying! This is exactly the kind of thing my kids would go nutso over! You have got this, Momma! That balloon is schooled!
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    • Thanks, Meredith. I can’t believe I’m spooked by this inanimate object! Lately it’s taken to sneaking up on me in the living room after the kids go to bed. Help!

  2. It is cute at first sight but I guess I would be spooked too at night!

    Delightful post, Gina!
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