Our next door neighbor had everyone over to their house for a potluck dinner last night before the madness of trick-or-treating began. Once the 6 o’clock hour ticked, I headed back home, changed in to my awesome Velma outfit, and handed out candy while Jon weathered the crummy climate and took the kids around the ‘hood on their sweets conquest.
About an hour later, Jon stammered back home, wet and cold and ready to trade places. The kids had retreated back to the neighbors to sort candy and go nuts running around the house cracked out on sugar. I left Jon to deal with the trick-or-treaters while I went next door to drink wine keep an eye on the kids. Mr. B was still interested in hitting other houses up for candy, so Jon came back to get him during a lull in trick-or-treaters to venture back out again in the cold rain.
In lieu of handing out candy in person, Jon left our candy in a bowl on our porch. Thinking the honor system would work out well.
I walked home across the lawn to change out of my sexy Velma outfit, and encountered some kids who were gathering candy from our porch. As I snuck up behind them, I could hear them gaping about how it was just a big bowl of candy for the taking, and I spooked the shit out of them by piping up “The goblins will grab you on the way out if you take more than you should!” They whipped around, but being the good kids they were, just politely said “No ma’am we weren’t going to take the whole thing!” and calmly walked away. And looking at our half-full bowl of candy left sitting on the table, I was astonished by their honesty.
Wow! The whole Honor System actually works! It took about a minute for me to change and as I was heading towards the front door, I heard screeching and a huge crash. I quickly opened the door to see a 10-year old kid running away, and in his wake, our porch table and decor down on the ground with our candy bowl completely empty.
So, I did what any cool adult would do.
I yelled “HEY! OH NO YOU DON’T!” and caught the turd red handed.
Yeah, that’s right. I was THAT house. I called the greedy kid back to the house, made him give back some candy and call his other friend back to do the same.
In retrospect, it was probably a cruel move on my part. And yet, looking at these kids with not one or two, but THREE pillowcases full of candy, it just seemed wrong to let them get away with it. I’m surely second guessing my decision now. Perhaps I should have let them get away with it. But I didn’t appreciate the fact that their greed was so strong, they pulled the whole bowl off the table, taking the table and our decor down with it. By the simple act of how quickly they tried to “grab and go,” they knew they were wrong. But somehow I’m the one who feels guilty. Like I should have given them a break and let kids be kids.
I fully expect to get my house egged and TP’ed at any moment.
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I love that you were the Halloween police. Fabulous. You shouldn’t feel guilty. I think we adults need to keep calling out the “yutes” (remember My Cousin Vinny), or else we risk having this generation be more entitled, mediocre and obnoxious than many of the current crop of 20-somethings. Great post, Gina!
Thanks, Keesha. I still feel like the neighborhood bitch, but perhaps these kids will move away by this time next year. Did they learn their lesson? Probably not. But if it were MY kids that had done that? I would have taken all their candy away. I get it, temptation is hard to resist, but they didn’t need to be reckless jerks about it.