Two things occurred this weekend that I’m not proud of. The first minor offense? I broke my no-soda-for-lent streak and splurged on a Diet Coke yesterday. I felt naughty and guilty the entire time I consumed it. But, man, it tasted nice. I think I’m just so bored with water that it was good to get a break from the norm.
Speaking of getting a break from the norm, I took the kids to a nearby hotel Saturday night to play in the pool and get some fun time away. Also, hopefully to give Daddy a mini-break, since I’d been away visiting my father. The kids loved playing for hours alternating from the frigid pool to the toasty hot tub. We had crappy fast food for dinner, curled up on the bed and ate popcorn and chocolate while watching a movie, and went to bed really late. What’s not to like about that? Well, I’ll tell ya. I slept horribly. Let me change that. When I DID sleep, it was yummy, hard sleep. But I kept waking up every hour or so, totally convinced that it was morning, and would pop upright to see if the kids were still asleep. We don’t sleep in the same room as our kids, never have unless we’re in a hotel. But we usually try to get a suite, so that we can still be Adults after early bedtimes. Then we’ll sneak in to the bedroom, drag a small one, still asleep in the pack and play, out in to the living room, close the door and go to sleep. I thought when I woke up in the morning that I had gotten rest, but by the time mid-afternoon came around, I was toast.
And with my energy went my “positive outlook.” I found myself doing that horrible spiral in to Woe-is-me land. The second thing I’m not proud of. Snapping at my husband and kids, getting cranky and passive/aggressive.
You would think that after five days of trying to see the bright side of things, concentrating on breathing and relaxing, being patient and not blowing up, I would have gotten the hang of things. But see, that’s my problem. All of this work I do? It has a shelf life of 4-5 days. That is as long as I can sustain it.
However, I’m trying to give myself a break. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, right?
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