The countdown to putting our house on the market is shrinking, and with it, my ability to maintain control over the clutter in our house.  I believe the plan is to stake a For Sale sign in our front yard at the beginning of April.  Which means we have approximately 31 days to get our act together.

We did a pretty massive toy and clothes purge after the holidays and our newly-acquired Stuff.  But it seems as if there still isn’t enough room in our tiny bungalow.  Mr. B’s closet is one gigantic, overflowing shelving unit of bins of stuffed animals, space stations, vehicles and games.  And while everything in his room is pretty contained to containers under his bed or in his closet, he hasn’t quite mastered the visual ability to see all the little LEGOs, books, and knick knacks that adorn his dresser, end table, and the far corners of his room.  The playroom has become one giant catch-all for all of those “projects” Mr. B brings home, party favors, and spare socks.  Every now and then I tackle both of these spaces with a garbage bag, but little hands are quick, and those spaces get unorganized once I turn my back.

But what really scares me the most?  Our front hall closet and our kitchen cabinets.  There seems to be a code of conduct in our house that anything with a door on it is just one giant hole to throw crap in.  It’s not as bad as a sitcom closet, but when you’re looking for a certain pot or pair of shoes or box of Cheez-Its, it can certainly feel like it.   I have been trying to prep everyone that once that sign goes out in the yard, things need to stay neat and tidy.   And here is where I differ from everyone else.  I think we should just get started practicing to keep things show-ready NOW.  But since the sign isn’t out yet, the general consensus is that it’s not a priority.

Here’s what I really worry about, what gets my stomach in a knot and my panties in a bunch.  How do I get everyone on board with this whole “leave the house every morning show read” thing?  Or is this ultimately going to become my responsibility that blossoms my on-the-verge-OCD into a full-fledged obsession?  Am I going to have to start getting up at the crack of dawn to wipe down counters and toilets because I don’t happen to suffer from crumb- and scum-blindness?  I already feel like I spend my free time picking up that random Lincoln Log that Mr B failed to notice, or the food crumbs that remained on the table after breakfast or lunch.

Anyone out there ever sell a house with small beings?  What were your tricks?  How did you get your kids (and husband) to pick up COMPLETELY after themselves, like a Leave No Trace hiking excursion?   Or is this your chance to give me a good slap, tell me to loosen up, and reassure me that our house will present really well, even if a potential buyer steps on a My Little Petshop dog as they’re walking through the house?