Let’s Make a Deal!! Picky Eater Style…

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Welcome to another round of Let’s Make a Deal: Picky Eater Style!

Today’s contestant?  Gina, a mother of two who has attempted to go off the family’s regular menu and try something different.  Diverting from pasta or rice?  Very risky there, mom.  This picky eater of yours is already giving you the stink eye.  I can tell this is going to be an exciting show!

The game you’re playing today is Get the Couscous in the Picky Eater’s Mouth.  Are you ready? Go!

Our contestant first attempts to politely ask her feisty preschooler to try a small spoonful of couscous, insisting that this grain is just tiny pieces of pasta.  That tongue sticking out in disdain is not a good sign.  This mom is going to have to try harder if she wants to win this one.

Oh!  I can see that begging for a No-Like Bite has indeed backfired.  Gina, I’m going to stop you right at groveling and say Let’s Make a Deal!

If you can get this picky eater to eat AND swallow the couscous, you will win the grand prize of menu variety and the ability to avoid cooking two separate meals at dinner time….

Or, you can choose what’s behind Door #1.  What will it be?

Alright, this mom is persistent and has her eye on the big prize, she’s giving up Door #1.  Keep trying Gina!

That guttural gagging sound coming from her daughter might mean a big clean up.  Will this bite stay in?  And….no!  It has come back out.  Gina’s going to try again.  Audience, say it with me:  Let’s Make a Deal!

First, Gina, please pick yourself up off the floor and take another sip of wine, this will all be over soon.  Here are your options.  You can keep your position in this standoff and risk losing your sanity, or you can cut your losses now and choose the envelope in my hand.  Could be money, could be a vacation, or it could be more chores.  It’s up to YOU to decide what route you’re going to take.

Wow, she turned down the envelope!  I can’t believe it!  Let’s see what she would have won if she’d taken what was in the envelope…oh, man, it was a Full Day of Cooperation from everyone.  What a prize that would have been!  She must really want to have a more diverse menu for her family besides buttered noodles and Elmo soup.  Let’s see how she tackles this third round.

She’s taken the passive aggressive route this time, mixed with some hallow threats of dessert recantation.  Not sure how this will go over…

A compromise has been made:  two small grains of couscous will suffice Mom’s plea.   The couscous is in her mouth…now, will the picky eater swallow?

(10 minutes later)

Welcome back from our commercial break. The headstrong picky eater has placed couscous in her mouth and has been chewing for almost ten minutes.  However, we cannot grant Gina the grand prize until swallowing has been performed.  Gina has moved on to clearing the table while muttering obscenities under her breath.

Oh!  And there comes the couscous, back out on the plate and accompanied with tears.  I’m so sorry, Gina.  Seems like you’re destined to a life of bland food or time intensive food preparation.  I do hope you’ll come back and try again.

But, let’s not forget your parting gift!  A Rorschach test of couscous to clean up off the floor.  Enjoy!

Creative minds…

Imagine the scene, if you will:

Both kids have gotten up way too early for the day.  We’ve rejected eaten breakfast, colored, made pillow forts, and everything else we can think of, yet it’s still only 7:30am.  I’m at my wits end and need a break from the screaming/fighting/whining. 

My solution?  We all climb in to Mr. B’s bed (clearly the best bed in the house, with it’s cozy and warm chamois sheets, and the still-firm mattress occupied by my lightweight son) and play a game of Moles.  Digging down in to the heavy comforter and pretending to sleep, it’s as close as I get to quiet Nirvana some days.

A friend of mine, the mother of two energetic boys, told me that when she needs them to be quiet, she suggests that they all pretend to be girls – sitting and reading books, brushing hair, etc.  That, my friends, is pure brilliance!

What’s your pseudo-break tactic?