Well, hellllllllooooo there! It’s been well over a month since I last wrote a blog post, and I hope that my time away didn’t push this little site in to the bowels of the Internet graveyard. Because I imagine that place to be filled with old Youtube clips of Saved By The Bell and reviews of Milli Vanilli, and no one wants to be there.
I would like to say I spent this hiatus reevaluating and making goals for blogging. That I stepped away and had time to reassess things, come to some conclusions, and am returning to writing fresh and anew with a binder full of ideas and a game plan. Sounds pretty good, right?
But did I actually follow through with that lofty goal?
Well, not exactly.
Starting a new job, the holiday break, family visitors and a snow storm or two made that time I was supposed to be reflecting and coming to some sort of eureka moment difficult.
But I did have some time to think. To ponder some things not just about my writing and my attitude towards blogging, but about my personal life as well. And I’ve decided to work on two major aspects of myself this year.
Call it resolutions, revelations, habit-forming decisions. I had them. Or made them. Or whatever.
Sure, they’re pretty broad and general. I know the Dr. Phils of the world might say they’re not specific enough and that I should break them down in to smaller, more achievable goals.
But these two issues are at the foundation of what’s making me feel unmotivated. Blah. Stuck.
I’ve been slacking in taking care of myself and my connection to the world around me.
You know. Basic. Life. Skills.
So, first, I’m working to take better care of myself. And that goal changes from day to day in how it’s achieved, but the point is that every day I’m prioritizing doing something to take care of myself. Drink more water, move a bit, get more sleep. Floss. Be more present, maybe meditate. BREATHE, for God sakes.
Connecting to people is the second thing I’m trying to let rise to the surface of my daily life. I’m not talking about any kind of smarmy networking or something superficial. I’m talking about real-life connections. Bonding with my spouse. Playing hard with my children. Staying in contact with friends and family far and wide. Using Skype more.
It seems that I’ve lost the ability to feel connected lately. Perhaps some of it is taking my relationships for granted. I’ve realized that I often sit back and expect folks to reach out to me, and then get pissed when they don’t. What remains is a disconnect that leaves me feeling resentful, bitter, and wanting to hole up like a hermit.
So if I want to deepen my relationships, make them healthier and meatier, I have to put in some work to nurture them. I need to remember that relationships are more like roasting a turkey than microwaving a burrito, and they require a bit of basting so they don’t dry out.
Certainly, some of this spills over to blogging and my reasons for taking a break. If I want to feel connected, I’m going to have to put in some work. Like any relationship.
Because my experience with blogging has been similar to dating. It started off all exciting and new and I put my whole heart and energy in to it. Then eventually, I got comfortable. Started peeing with the door open, so to speak. Inevitably, the magic was lost. Now I’m trying to regain that spark back.
So, I’m changing my perspective about blogging. Looking at it through the lens of connection and communication, rather than marketing and self-promotion.
It feels like a very small, but very radical change in viewpoint for me.
That’s where I stand. I may post a lot. Or a little. I’m not sure. I do know that if I come back to blogging trying to put the pressure on myself to post so many times a week or concentrate on SEO and Pinterest-worthy images, I’ll be right back where I was in December, and I really don’t want that to happen.
Bare with me. I’m slowly stepping back in to the blogging pool. I may still hug the ladder for a while, but be patient. I’ll warm up, enter the water and saunter over to the swim up bar soon enough.
