I’ll go ahead and admit it…we’re slightly addicted to watching the Olympics in our house.  It’s been on religiously every night for the past 10 days, keeping Jon and I up way too late as we get our athletic fix. We’ve moved past the first few “casual” stages of addiction and have seated ourselves right up next to the line of obsession.  Luckily, we’ve dealt with this before and have been able to recognize the signs, but you may need help to determine if you, too, are an Olympics junkie:

5)  Like a bleery-eyed newborn parent making coffee without even thinking in the morning, you reach for your gadget de jour as soon as your feet hit the floor, searching for the day’s newest results, perusing the agenda for the day’s events, and hoping to find out what kind of crazy sneakers Ryan Lotche is wearing today.

4)  Bedtime?  What’s that?  Despite knowing full well that those little alarm clocks called preschoolers will wake you up at 6am, you stay up way past midnight watching the day’s competitions.  It’s easy to get sucked in.  That little tease right before commercial…”Next up, Usain Bolt attempts to pick his nose while winning the 100m dash…” hooks you in, and before you know it, you’ve wasted away six hours of your night that should have been spent cleaning up dinner, “reconnecting” with your partner, or getting some sleep.

3)  People avoid you all day because they know you constantly check your phone for the latest medal count.  Everyone knows you, YOU, are The Spoiler Alert.   In an effort to be the most up-to-date expert on what’s happening with the Olympics, you have ruined others’ efforts to avoid finding out what happened before they get home to watch the highlights in primetime.  You just couldn’t keep your mouth shut about Gabby Douglas, could you?  Jerk.

2)  You’ve gone beyond the realm of enthusiast and have created an alternate reality for yourself where You Are An Olympic Athlete!  You can’t stop yourself from dismounting the bed/chairs/sofa/stairs without sticking the landing.   Before you enter the shower, you flail your arms wildly, flapping your arms behind your back in that wild fashion only Michael Phelps can make look good.  Playtime with your kids is tinged with competition, and your kids duck from your javelin-like throws.  You’re stretching way too often, my friend.  And the simple fact that you’ve shaved…everywhere?  Yeah, no one needs to see that.

1)  That cauldron you’ve constructed in your backyard to house your very own Olympic Flame is a major fire hazard.  If you’ve made it this far, you’ve gone over the edge.  Get yourself an intervention.  Take solace in the fact that this madness will come to an end this weekend and you’ll be forced to deal with your addiction cold turkey, or turn your attention elsewhere (like the kids?  work?  making a normal dinner?  Rats.)  Have no fear, Winter Olympics is but a mere 18-months away…