One thing I really loved about our home in Denver, despite it’s shoebox size, was the fact that we had a fenced-in back yard. I’m talkin’ eight-foot high privacy fence. Enough to walk around naked if you wanted. Or, at least, that’s what my toddlers wanted.
We grew pretty reliant on the safety and security of those three faded wooden walls.
It was great to open the back door and release them in to the yard. We had no fear of needing to shield them from anyone or anything. There were no cars to worry about, no strangers peeking in at their antics, no threat of them wandering off.
Here in our new home, there are no fences. It’s just a wide open space. I can still open the back door and let the kids roam free. The expansive lawn gives us lots of room to throw balls around, but having a yard without a fence has it’s pros and cons.
Pro: With no fence to obstruct our view, it feels like our backyard is ginormous.
Con: With no fence (and no mature trees), the wind whips around that Power Alley of backyards and makes it feel like Dorothy is about to take a trip. Every time a storm approaches, my ears remain on high alert for the tornado siren.
Pro: We don’t have to skirt death to retrieve stray balls from the street and alley.
Con: Devoid of fences, it makes folks think it’s perfectly acceptable to traipse through your backyard to get somewhere. Or let their dog shit in your bushes.
Pro: The kids can see their friends playing outside.
Con: The kids can see their friends playing outside.
Pro: You get to know your neighbors really well.
Con: The line between what’s yours and your neighbors’ can get a bit fuzzy. I’m talking to you, guys with the rickety-ass play set, and the tuft of weeds at the bottom of the steps that my son is convinced is poison ivy.
We have never met the parents of the children that live behind us. That didn’t stop the nanny from allowing the kids to walk in to our yard and help themselves to our play set last summer.
I don’t know about you, but I’m not comfortable watching other people’s children in my backyard when my own are sitting peacefully inside trying to focus on dinner.
The first time this happened, I just bit my tongue and hoped that the nanny would step in and retrieve the kids, but she didn’t. I guess she had an important Facebook status to reply to.
So the second time this occurred, I opened the back door and politely yelled “hey guys, can you not play on our stuff if we’re not out here?”
The kids were very nice about it, climbed down in a timely manner and went back to play in their own backyard. And it hasn’t happened since. Don’t get me wrong, the kids are very nice. But the relationship feels awkward.
Still, because our play set and theirs is in such close proximity, it’s impossible to have both families playing outside without feeling obligated to have the kids over.
And that’s when I wish we had a fence.
I’m not saying that I’m anti-neighbor. We had two sets of neighbors that recently moved, but when they were here, our kids would run from yard to yard, expanding their play area and toy options. And I loved it.
Because I had met their moms. I became friends with them. I knew they would watch over my kids like I would watch over theirs without taking advantage of it. There were rules of engagement the kids had to abide by.
Like waiting to be asked to come over before crossing to the other person’s yard.
You’d look over at the corner of the property lines and see three sets of children, separated by an invisible divider, talking but not daring to cross until a deal was brokered.
As if there was a fence there.
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