Hall pass…

In the spirit of love, I’m going to go off on a tangent with this post. Today. On Valentine’s Day.

A day for love. And cheesy cards. And enough chocolate to make me pull out my fat pants tomorrow.

Last week as I was driving to the gym after drop-off, I happened to listen to Elvis Duran‘s morning show on satellite radio. They were discussing the idea of a Hall Pass.

Now, for those of you that do not know what a hall pass is, lemme explain. It’s basically a list of celebrities with whom, by the off chance you run in to them and have a ice cube’s chance in hell of hooking up with, your partner has agreed that that infidelity would be okee dokee.

That got your ears perked up, didn’t it!

And lo and behold, one of the women on the show, Bethany, was confronted with one of the dudes on her Hall Pass, right there in the studio as a nice little surprise.

Josh Groban.

Now, I don’t know who she had on the rest of her list, but I think it’s pretty funny that Josh Groban was on it. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a decent choice. He’s super-talented, funny as hell, and charming. And he was sitting right there. Next to her. Present and accounted for.

I could feel the awkwardness through the airwaves. All the other people in the room where egging Bethany on, joking about the two of them sneaking off to head in to the closet later for a hearty round of Seven Minutes in Heaven.

Talk about performance pressure, right? And to make matters worse, her boyfriend had called in and stuck around, congratulating her and giving her two big thumbs up.

I didn’t listen long enough to find out if she did, in fact, cash in that hall pass. For all I know, the bit wrapped up, they shook hands, Josh Groban graciously signed something for her, and the most intimate thing they did was maybe split a black and white cookie.

But what if she had? I mean, there isn’t enough couples therapy to erase that decision. Can you imagine trying to have “relations” with your husband after he had spent some racy moments with, say, Mila Kunis? Or trying to joke around with him after he spent the funniest time of his life with Tina Fey?

I have two words for you. Indecent Proposal.

If Demi and Woody couldn’t survive that, neither could I.

Here’s the thing. My husband and I have never had this discussion. I have no Hall Pass list. And as far as I know, my husband doesn’t either. Or if he does, he won’t divulge it. Let’s face it, my list would only have my husband’s name on it. Yes, yes, I know. Your sick bags are located in the seat pocket in front of you.

Besides, the closest I get to a hall pass is scooting past my husband on the way to the bathroom.

What about you? Do you have a Hall Pass list? And if so, who’s on it?