I had a conversation with a faculty member last week that made me realize something startling…I’ve never really mapped out my career path. Every job I’ve taken was just that, a job. I never had that foresight to think how this one job might be a stepping stone to something else, or how I might be able to use a job to get me further to where I want to go career-wise. It was always just a job to have a job. Some were dance related, some were related in the way we’re all probably related to George Washington, and some were no where near the territory of related. But if you laid them all out on the table, there’s not a whole lot of forward trajectory to them that would make you say, “Ah, I see where you’re going…”
Perhaps because I don’t know where I want to go career-wise. You know that question they always ask you in job interviews? The one that goes Where do you see yourself in five/ten years? I never have a good answer for that. Usually I fly by the seat of my pants in interviews and make up something that I think the hiring manager might want to hear. And who doesn’t, right?
But that question has been swirling around in my brain lately. What DO I see myself doing in five years? I have no freakin’ idea. When we started having kids, I almost felt relief, grateful for the fact that I had something more pressing to focus on than what I was going to do for a living. And as our little family grew with our daughter’s arrival, I was content in working part-time pick-up jobs to help out financially and get my mind engaged in something besides nap schedules and Mommy-and-Me classes. I think I always told myself, “When Miss P starts school…when she starts Kindergarten…then I’ll focus on getting my career back up and running.”
The problem with that thinking, though, is that I’ve been out of the game for so long that I am now faced with a myriad of fear and short-comings. What IS/WAS my career? And what do I want to do with it? I turned 39 on Saturday, and since I haven’t taken class in over three months, I feel I’ve been forced in to a temporary retirement of sorts, at least as a performer of someone else’s work. Now that I’ve been teaching a dance analysis course at OSU the past few weeks, my mind is feeding me crap about not having done a whole lot with my career since I moved from NYC. Being thrust in back in to an academic dance environment, I’m surrounded by either
- really young people that are saturated in educational thought and on the verge of heading out to start their career path, who have not been sacked with life or kids yet; or
- people who are on the verge of retirement and have spent decades building their craft into something they can stand back, look at, and be proud of; people who have not let the excuses of parenting or moving or anything else stand in the way of their Goal, their End of Their Career Path.
I don’t fit in to either category. And I’m struggling to find out where I do fit in, what’s next for me, where I want to go. Guess it’s time to get out my compass…
What about you? Did you carve out a career path, or did you just wing it?
My career path was all over the place… I’ve worked as an Internal Auditor, tried my hand at tech support, customer service manager, and now I have a career in accounting. I wish my job was my passion – I’d love to work in Social Media but don’t know which way to go for a start…. my other obstacles are that I am 41 , have a 2 year old, house hunting, and trying to conceive…. Prayers & a hopeful heart is the route I’m taking on the path… Best of luck with you, I’ll be cheering you on.
I like your route, Cynthia. And perhaps that’s what I need to rely on. The “young kid” thing is hard, and it makes it difficult to look for work – at some point you have to weigh the cost of childcare against what your salary would be, and right now for me those two cancel each other out. I’ll cheer you on as well, let’s jump in together!
I had a very carefully planned and well executed career plan early on in my career. I knew exactly where I was going, where I wanted to be, and how I was going to get there. For many years I executed this well though out plan, and hence was able to climb the corporate ladder very quickly and easily. The trouble is that as my kids got older, and as I started adding additional children to our family, what I thought I really wanted turned out to not be. I suddenly woke up one day and realized that what I wanted was my children! To watch them grow up, to play with them, spend time with them. My career required very long hours, sometimes 12 or more per day. It was a high stress job that demanded a lot of traveling and time spent in the office. Time that unfortunately came at the expense of my children. So just like that I woke up one day and decided it was time for a change. Instead of a high power corporate position, I instead chose a high stress, thankless, exhausting job of being mom. The moral of the story is that ones life goals can and do change over time, depending on the circumstances of our lives. You didn’t waste your time by not having a carefully chosen career path. Chances are that the plan you would have layed out in your 20′s, may not have fit the circumstances of life in your 30′s.
Flawed Mommy – that sounds like a rough work day, and kudos to you for taking the leap to do what you really wanted. And I agree, goals do change over time, so perhaps “long-term” isn’t realistic as something to long for. However, it’s also hard to be surrounded by tenacious go-getters who have spotted their goal and went after it. Perhaps I just need to reset my expectations?
I had an end goal–to teach & have a family too– I really didn’t “MAP” out every step, but in the end I did do both–I just found I for me doing both at the same time didn’t work. Now I’m a SAHM , I’d love to find a teaching aide job-because my kids are older and at school all day-but schools around here are just not hiring, so I’ve take care of a baby s few days a week and blog–a little bit off the path, but I can be her “TEACHER” and I like sharing teaching tips on my blog. =^D
Pamela – I think it’s great that you’ve transformed your teaching to apply to the every-day. I’m not really sure how to do that with my past career history, though, but I agree that I need to change my perspective a bit. I guess I’m feeling like I’m having an identity crisis. Going from having a dance career in Denver to here in Ohio where I feel I spend most of my time taking care of everyone else, I feel like I’ve lost my mojo. Totally need an attitude adjustment, right?
Gina, I feel the same way. I’ve decided to follow the path that I’m on and see where it takes me.
Becky, I’m glad to hear I’m not alone. I do agree with you, I think I just need to trust that things will happen the way the need to.
I have basically winged it, reinvented myself many many many times, followed my passions! I have also been very fortunate to do everything I always wanted to do. When I was younger I had to write a paper on what I wanted to do by the time I was 40. My response nearly got me suspended….lol In fact, I am doing what I love for now… I have always done what I loved. I follow my bliss not a path.
I absolutely love this response! Perhaps I need to spend more time thinking about what my passions are than my goals. Two very different things, for sure.
I have worked for the same organization in a variety of roles for almost 13 years, but I have a notable lack of ambition and “career-y-ness.” I have dealt with that same little panic butterfly that sits right in the middle of your chest whenever one of those goal-focused, tenacious go-getters cranks up, and I have successfully avoided answering the “Where do you see yourself in 5 years” question through multiple end-of-year evaluation sessions. Last year, as I started dreading that question, I realized that it really didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing in 5 years, what really matters is who do I want to be in 5 years. More loving, more creative, more understanding, more peaceful–those are what I’m aiming for, and when/if my job stops supporting that I’ll find something else to do.
You ask the best questions!
I hope you had a fabulous birthday! Time really flies, doesn’t it? I just had my first mammogram. It was totally weird to think of myself as having endangered boobies.
Suzan – Career-y-ness. Is that like Truthiness? I, too, lack that. Careeriness, not Truthiness. And I think your point gets to the heart of it – who DO I want to be in 5 years? Not doing. Being. And your goals and aspirations are in line with what my core longs for right now. Sure, you can’t chart that stuff on a pie chart or whatever, but certainly more realistic goals. Thanks, I did have a good birthday. Well, as good as birthdays can get with soccer games, dance lessons and whiny kids to deal with. You had a mammogram already? That means mine is coming up next year. We’re not that old yet, are we?
I agree with Detox Diva, follow you passion. If we’re going to work, it should be something we love to do if at all possible.
I agree, Becky Jane. If only what I love doing could bring in more money, I think I’d feel better.
I spent years having just a job. When my youngest moved out it was time for mommy to go back to school. I got my Commercial Drivers License and was offer a teaching position right there on the spot. I wanted to be on the road for a few years to get the experience needed to teach. I had a very short “Career” as a Driver. I have since had to come off the road again due to some health issues. So now I work a little at home on Crafts and my herb garden. They don’t make much money but I like doing it.
Congrats to you for going back to school and taking care of yourself. And I do think a lot of this has to do with finding your passion, just like some of the other comments have mentioned. Sounds like you’ve found yours!