I’m doing something fun and participating in a Blog Hop through Voices of Motherhood. Join me, won’t you? It’s a great chance to check out some new reading material…
Bumpy travels…
29 April 2011 By 8 Comments
I would like to think that the road to becoming a better person and parent would be the smooth kind of the newly paved highway by our house, courtesy of the Stimulus Package. Instead, it feels more like the shoddy and nauseating honeymoon van ride in Jamaica from the airport to our hotel in the pitch-black dark of the middle of the night, on a rocky and curvy road, unsure if we were headed to the right hotel, being driven by a man who needed to stop along the way and pick up an icicle to nibble on.
I would also love to say that I’ve been a patient parent lately, but I’ve fallen short of my goal. Perhaps I need to lower my expectations of myself. There are things that my kids do that I inherently know aren’t awful things, and it’s just my reaction to them that make it worse. For instance, the noise. Oh the noise! Both the whining and the happy screaming. At times I wish there was a mute button or a volume knob for my kids. Or Parent Ear Plugs. But maybe this is really MY issue, not theirs. I’ve learned that I’m really sensitive to noise. When it escalates, so does my heart rate. My chest gets tight, my nerves get shot, and I blow like a pressure cooker. Screaming back isn’t only childish, but unhelpful. Finding a solution that creates peace, sanity and patience is a trial and error lately. Sometimes I physically have to plug up my ears, take a few breaths, count to ten. But this tactic is easy to forget. Being mindful and present works when things are going smoothly, but I forget when things get rocky.
I so wish that I could be one of those folks that keep their cool under any situation, just letting things roll off their back. Part of the work I’m doing here is just coming to peace with who I am in the first place. But what that also does is shed light on the parts of myself that are unpleasant. The attitudes, behavior and patterns I’ve inherited from my own parents, both the good and the bad. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to a place where I’m completely calm all of the time. Reacting to every little thing that occurs without giving that Thing time to register has been so etched in my makeup that it will take some time to break that down. But I don’t know if that intensity will ever leave. Could it be channeled in to something else? Perhaps.
Whatever the case, at least I’m wearing my seat belt…
Down in it…
27 April 2011 By 11 Comments
Today was a rough day…well, maybe not the whole day, but the first half was utter crap. I woke up feeling exhausted and hit with the cold I’ve been trying to escape from just about everyone in my family and K’s company. And that funky mood followed me around all morning and most of the afternoon. Rehearsal only brought out the worst in me. Decisions were made that I passively was a part of, and now that I didn’t make my concerns known, I’m stuck in a hard place. It’s my own fault, really, for not stepping up and vocalizing more adamantly what I wanted and didn’t want. Once I fell in to that tar pit of gloom, it was impossible to pull myself out of it. And every thing that occurred for the rest of the day just exacerbated my foul mood.
Thankfully, my friend M knows what kind of work I’ve been doing on myself, and gave me a verbal slap in the face. M is a tell-it-like-it-is kind of gal, and I love that about her. She reminded me that my ego loves misery and feeds off of it; that the things I’m telling myself are lies and fodder for negative thinking. It was the exact thing I needed to hear at that moment and it shook me out of my funk so that I was able to get on with my day. In the end, I had a great afternoon with the kids and everything went so smoothly that I almost didn’t want the kids to go to bed. Wait, did I just say that? I did say almost.
What do YOU do to pull yourself out of a bad day and turn it around?
Introducing…Kid Tune Tuesday!
26 April 2011 By 2 Comments
We listen to a boat-load of music around here. On my computer, in the car, from the boom box that Mr. B has appropriated and brought in to his room. I love that they have developed a love for music. Mostly we listen to kids music, either from stuff I’ve found on iTunes, or listening to Kids Place Live (from here on out known as KPL) on satellite radio. Miss P is still very much in the listen-by-repeat mode, which drives Mr. B crazy. That’s when I have to remind him of that time a few months ago when we listened to Europe’s The Final Countdown over and over again until our ears bled.
So, I’ve decided to launch a new aspect here on Full of it…
KID TUNE TUESDAY!
A glimpse of what we’ve been listening to, reactions, thumbs up or down. Perhaps a video or sound bite here and there. And, of course, I’m open to your suggestions as well!
We will be using a very developed, technologically advanced Sippy Cup Rating System. Depending on the song, each kid (or parent) might have their own rating, but in general the rating provided will be an average of the votes for the family. Ratings will be shown as follows:
= Meh, next song please…
= Verdict might still be out on this one. I might need to hear it again to be sure…
= I like this a lot, and will definitely request this on Repeat for a while.
= Again! Again! Again! Peeeees!Let’s kick this thing off with a favorite of Miss P’s, shall we? Caspar Babypants has some really great tunes that we hear a ton on KPL. For those that don’t know, Caspar Babypants is Chris Ballew, former front man from The Presidents of the United States of America. You know, those cooky guys that brought you “Peaches” and “Kitty“?
Well, Caspar Babypants has this adorable song called “Mister Rabbit“, and Miss P could listen to it a hundred times a day. In her defense, it’s an easy listen, a catchy tune, and it’s bright and cheery. Paul Westerberg recorded a version years ago, but I happen to like CB’s version better.
And the results:
MR B: While I liked it the first 10-20 times, now I’m quite sick of hearing this. 
MISS P: Mister Rabbit, Mama! More!
Say cheese…
25 April 2011 By Leave a Comment
For some time, I’ve been thinking I need a career change. Perhaps what I really need is a hobby? Writing in here has definitely been helpful. But I’m craving the creativity of something else.
Back when we lived in NYC, I started taking a photography class using my husband’s grandfather’s old Minolta 35mm. I loved how similar photography was to choreography: composition, choosing where I want someone’s eye to focus, capturing and specifying a mood, energy or line. A few years ago, I was fortunate enough to get a D-SLR for Christmas from Jon, and while I’ve taken thousands of pictures with it, they are mostly family snapshots. Fun pictures of things the kids are doing, or a visit from a relative. But I haven’t used it to do much else. Maybe I should…
Lately I’ve been drooling over the idea of getting a macro lens so that I can get those shallow depth of field shots that I adore. But maybe I just need to acquire better knowledge of photography and what my current lenses are capable of. Learning about lighting might help too. I’m looking in to taking some classes somewhere. In the mean time, I’ve been looking back at some of the photos I’ve taken in the past that I really like for inspiration. I know they’re not ground breaking or breathtaking, but it got me thinking.
And this website, What Katie Ate, albeit a food site, makes me wish I could be a photographer. Such beautiful shots!
